A different 2ww

It's exactly 2 weeks before my first U/S at 7w4d. I really have no idea how it will go. I'm still waffling as to how things are, deep down there in my uterus. Sometimes I'm sure I'm pg, other times, I'm less sure.
And as to the question of how many, well, I really have no idea. One, more than one. I would honestly be very happy with one healthy growing fetus.
Today I went to the baby fair. I wasn't planning to, in fact, had no idea it was on. I was going to the women's fair with a few friends and the baby fair was in the same convention center. I stayed with them until they were checking out the shoe sale, I said goodbye, saying I was going home. Then I snuck out and paid and went to the baby fair. (my BFF knew what I was doing, but she was the only one there who knows I'm hopefully expecting). The fair was great. And what was also great was being in a huge room with pregnant women, babies and kids and not wanting to bawl my eyes out. I entered lots of draws but bought very little. I was so afraid to tempt fate. I did get some belly cream. I also collected information on 3D U/S places and cord blood banking along with discount cards for them. The bravest thing I bought was a hooded shirt that I'll use when (if) I tell the world I'm pregnant. I really have no idea when that will be. I'll unveil the shirt on the web at the same time, so you'll have to wait to know what it says.
For those wondering, my last beta was right on track (number in my profile) and my progesterone had gone up quite a bit. They want me to test again next week to see the hormone levels and may now switch and lower my progesterone.
Still no symptoms - 5w4d.

5w2d - holding pattern

I'm in a hurry up and wait pattern I think. Frustrated and trying to remain optimistic.
First off. I have no symptoms at all. No m/s or enhanced sense of smell etc. And at last test, my hcg is high enough that if its going to happen it should. I know most women would be grateful to have a symptom free pregnancy, but for those of us who are fertility challenged, symptoms are the only ways we can tell we're still pregnant.
Okay, so I have one slight 'advantage'. Because my progesterone levels don't seem to be high enough and we're playing with meds, I get extra blood tests and since they are sucking my blood, I'm asking for more hcg tests at the same time. Mondays hcg was 3804. A little slower rise than between tests 1 and 2 but still more than doubling in 48 hours. Most recent blood draw was this morning. Now I just need to wait (not so patiently) for my Dr to get the results.
Oh, I saw the Dr on Tuesday. Nothing exciting. We chatted, wrote up some more prescriptions and booked the ultrasound. No weight, no bp, no check-up, no nothing else. Just a regular appointment with my Dr. She did say she hoped I was on major sedatives when they were yanking the adhesions from my cervix and cringed when I said that I had nothing at all, and yes it did hurt.
The U/S is not going to be until Nov 15. The 11th would have been the earliest to see the heartbeat. The 15th is the first appointment after that. I hear that many women with fertility issues are scared that they'll see nothing in the u/s. I'm one of them. Terrified even.
Why does having babies come so easy to some and so hard to others? Why can the heroin addict down the street give birth to a drug addicted baby every year and I can't even have one? How can so many teenagers get pregnant the 'only time' they've ever had sex? Why do people who don't want children, those who abuse children, get to have them, no tests, no questions asked, but we have to go through psych evals, invasive tests and home assessments? Certainly not fair when you look at it.
Anyway, sorry to go off on a rant. I'm just trying to pass time until my next results come in.