SAHM

No, I'm not a stay at home mom, but I was lucky enough to have a week of it when my caregiver was sick for a week.

It was wonderful. I loved having the entire day with my boys for more than just the weekend, which always seemed rush. Don't get me wrong, it was physically exhausting, but still so wonderful. Yeah, if I had the option I could do it full time.

I was lucky to have 11 months off for maternity leave. I loved watching them grow and develop in that first year. But lets face it, toddlers are just so much fun! And I'm missing so much of it. Here's an example of one of our weekdays

I get up at 7. The boys get up somewhere between then and 8. During that time I have to get ready for work, when they get up get them changed and dressed. Then its time for me to leave for work. I get home from work at 5. They go to bed at 7. In those 2 hours, I make and feed them dinner, get them ready for bed, bath if it's a bath night. Once in a while we can make it to the park for 30 minutes (now that its lighter at night) but they are getting tired and cranky and ready for bed. So weekdays, I have at most 3 hours a day with them.

I loved having those other 8 hours with them (even though they sleep 2-3 of those too). I took them to their playtime drop ins and played with them and their friends. We did crafts. We read. We played with any and every toy. We went to the playground. We went for walks. We had a great time. I miss it.

I knew when I made the choice to be a single mom, that I couldn't be a stay at home mom. Well, if I won the lottery, maybe, but otherwise no. Someone has to work and it can't be the kids, so that leaves me. Obviously we can live on one income, since we do. We're comfortable, but not well off. I have to squirrel away every spare penny to save up to move us out of a one-bedroom into a two-bedroom sometime in the next 5 years.

So for now, I do what I can to make the most of our time together. I do any housework, laundry etc after they've gone to bed. I get everything ready for the next day so I wont miss any of those precious minutes with them. I make their lunch for the nanny to give them (we're vegetarian, she's not so isn't sure what to make or how to make it). I make dinners that are more instant than I'd like so we have more time together. Besides, Corwyn wont let go of me when I get home, he wants me for quality time too. The picture is today's dinner, frozen pizza with fresh fruit. Yeah, its not unhealthy, but its not great. And I occasionally make peanut butter sandwiches for them too.

I treasure each and every moment with them. They are growing so fast and I miss so much of it. Some of my friends don't understand why I wont get a babysitter to go out with them now and again. Its not so much the money, but I'm not going to voluntarily miss out time I could be spending with them.

I could go check my lottery ticket now, but I think I'll wait so I can dream tonite that I'll be able to stay home with my boys.