Monday, February 6, 2012


So, Nathan had a rough night. He wasn't feeling well and was plagued with nightmares to boot. Once we covered off the illness part of it (cough, cold, and upset stomach) we talked about the nightmares.
Mommy: Did you have a scary dream?
Nathan: Yes
Mommy: Want to talk about it?
Nathan: Yes.
Silence, silence and more silence
Mommy: What was it about?
Nathan: Don't know (his new favorite phrase)
Mommy: Did something scare you?
Nathan: Yeah, fighting.
Now I'm single so no fighting parents etc. I was a bit puzzled
Mommy: who is fighting?
Nathan: Corwyn is fighting
Mommy: You don't like it when Corwyn hits you.
Nathan: No, I don't like it.
(and then he went to sleep for a bit so hopefully just getting it off his chest helped a bit)

Corwyn is very aggressive with Nathan. If he wants something, he takes it. Nathan will start to cry, Corwyn will laugh and run away. If Nathan chases him, Corwyn will hit, kick and bite to keep it. Corwyn also seeks revenge. It's really hard. They are usually loving and play together well, but not always. And while physically larger, Nathan is gentler and always loses.

Sometimes Corwyn genuinely wants what Nathan has. Sometimes he wants it only because Nathan has it. But most of the time he just wants Nathan to play with him. Nathan's verbal skills are on the high end of a 'normal' 2 year old, Corwyn's are middle to low (but getting better). This is some of the problem. Corwyn is also the loudest and most tenacious so when it comes time to pick a TV show or book, he usually 'wins'. That's up to me to change.

I saw one bit of hope this weekend. Nathan had something Corwyn wanted, but instead of taking it away, he grabbed Nathan's monkey and ran. Nathan didn't even notice and when Corwyn realized this, he brought it back and tossed it to him and walked away. It was a big step in so many ways but a small one as far as Nathan's feelings are concerned.

I really do need to find a way to get them apart for at least a few hours each week. Give them time to play with just me or with other kids without the other one around. Yeah, the twin bond thing is great, but they need the chance to develop as individuals too.

And because I can never be all doom and gloom, here is a picture of one of the highlights of our weekend (which was overall really fabulous). My little superheroes (in pjs that are just a bit too small now)

1 comment:

K J and the kids said...

This sounds a lot like my little boys.
I've always hoped that they would be close like their older brothers. It didn't seem like it until just the last couple of months. They play more than they fight now.
I think it's very normal....but I like your idea of giving them time to themselves.
Have faith and keep correcting the behavior. They'll figure it out and they will both survive :)