Around noon yesterday, I had a slightly sore throat (on one side) and minor stuffiness. I was torn. Part of me was hoping it was just an allergy (I get fall ones). Part of me was scared silly that this was a PMS symptom I sometimes get the day before AF shows herself (I would had freaked - getting AF less than a week before my U/S lining check would bench me this cycle). And part of me was a bit happy that it means my immunity has dropped a bit.
What you say? Huh? Reread it all you want, but it still says the same thing. I have a fairly strong immune system and an even stronger autoimmune system. My body is good at finding and killing anything it considers a thread (including developing embryos). One of the goals behind prednisone is to slightly lower my immune system and maybe keep the embryos safe. I'd say the lower immune system part is working. But now I'm at a quandary. I have a cold. Do I take immune boosters like echinecea or co.ld fx or extra vitamin c? Do I really want to boost the system I'm trying to compromise? And if so, how much? Will it be long enough for the prednisone to still have an effect? I really don't want a cold (ear or throat related) when I fly next week. Sigh.
The cold is really bad timing. It means I need to stay away from all my friends running half and full marathons this week or next (good luck all!) I really don't want to be the one who passed the virus onto them (of course, I'm quite sure I caught it from one of them as they are who I spent most of my weekend time socializing with). I also have the list of things to do before travel and all I want to do is sit in a hot tub, inhaling eucalyptus. I can't really take time off or work now either since I'm planning 2 weeks away. But if it's any worse tomorrow, I'll seriously consider working from home.
Time to go, have to find some more tissues.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Organized (or not)
I'm starting to get a tiny bit organized. I've bought most of what I wanted and now just need to sort the clothes out that I want to pack and make sure they are all clean.
Today I picked up the one thing I really wanted to bring - socks with those little grippy things on the bottom. At the CZ clinic, they like you to spend at least an hour after transfer with NO movement. So the transfer takes place in the recovery bed. They angle the foot of it into an inverted V, then have you scoot your butt to the end, with your feet perched there. No stirrups. After the transfer, they move you back a bit and wheel the bed into recovery for an hour.
Last time, my leg started to shake and I had to grab my socks to hold on. I dont think it would be a 'good' tranfer if I kicked the doctor in the head. Of course, last time, he had a hard time finding my cervix and I had to move to the big gyno bed-thingy. It seemed awkward, but it kept my legs still. But then I had to move beds after. I'm hoping not to move this time and of course, I'm hoping not to boot the doctor.
I also got some more of those bags that you roll your stuff up in to take up less space in the luggage. Oh, and while I was in the sock area, I picked up some of those socks that help when travelling.
One week, I leave in one week.
I'm trying to stay very positive. I wouldnt be doing this if I didnt think I could get pregnant. At the same time I need to not build it up so much because if I get another BFN, it will be even harder. How do I balance 'positive thinking' with realistic expectations??
Today I picked up the one thing I really wanted to bring - socks with those little grippy things on the bottom. At the CZ clinic, they like you to spend at least an hour after transfer with NO movement. So the transfer takes place in the recovery bed. They angle the foot of it into an inverted V, then have you scoot your butt to the end, with your feet perched there. No stirrups. After the transfer, they move you back a bit and wheel the bed into recovery for an hour.
Last time, my leg started to shake and I had to grab my socks to hold on. I dont think it would be a 'good' tranfer if I kicked the doctor in the head. Of course, last time, he had a hard time finding my cervix and I had to move to the big gyno bed-thingy. It seemed awkward, but it kept my legs still. But then I had to move beds after. I'm hoping not to move this time and of course, I'm hoping not to boot the doctor.
I also got some more of those bags that you roll your stuff up in to take up less space in the luggage. Oh, and while I was in the sock area, I picked up some of those socks that help when travelling.
One week, I leave in one week.
I'm trying to stay very positive. I wouldnt be doing this if I didnt think I could get pregnant. At the same time I need to not build it up so much because if I get another BFN, it will be even harder. How do I balance 'positive thinking' with realistic expectations??
Thursday, September 25, 2008
To Do Lists
I'm -19db 5dt or in English - I'm 19 days before my 5 day transfer.
It's also 12 days until my flight to CZ. I'm not packed. This isn't too bad since lots of things can't be packed yet because I still need them before the trip. But I haven't even finished my packing list! Truth be told, I didn't fully unpack after my last attempt. At first it was because I couldn't lift much in the 2ww, then it was more the depression of the BFN and facing the suitcase meant facing that. I'm not even sure what is in my suitcase and carry on right now. I had a small panic moment a couple of weeks ago and verified that I did know where my passport (and I was right, it expires next year).
I have some shopping to do before I go. Nothing big but a couple of things here and there. I did manage to pick up some gloves today. I'm sure I have some packed away at home somewhere, but it will be a while before I need them here and it's one less thing to worry about now.
K, my dog and cat sitter, will need to put up with the more-than-usual-clutter. I had high hopes of going through clothes, papers, books and even organizing my kitchen cupboards before I went. Didn't happen. Won't happen. My normally boring social calendar was blocked full this month (I'm actually hoping for rain this weekend to get one or two things postponed).
One thing that I can't forget to do before I go or put off until I come back is to vote. Yes, dear readers, we in Canada are also having an election this fall. The official poll day is Oct 14, the day after my transfer. I plan to vote in one of the early polls before I leave. But I still have no idea who I'll be voting for.
For me, personally, who I vote for has always been a combination of how I feel about the specific candidate's ability to represent me (and my neighbors) and how I feel about the party s/he represents. In many things, the candidate will vote as s/he feels appropriate, for controversial things, they are required to vote along party lines, so both need to be taken into account. It's because of this that I don't think any candidate, after being elected can chose to change parties without a by-election. Party changing like that is not part of democracy as it doesn't represent the voters.
Not voting isn't an option. I'm appalled at the low voter turnout. I think the last federal election over 30% of eligible voters didn't vote. What the heck?!? I suspect that many of that 30% were the first to complain when Parliament did something they didn't like. I think if you don't vote, you can't complain. I also don't agree with people who don't vote for the person they want because they feel 'it will be throwing their vote away'. No vote, when made honestly is a throw away. Anyone who wins in a riding had better be aware that if they don't win more than 50% of the vote that they had better pay attention to why if they want to stay around. Plus, I think outcomes of elections could be very different if every single eligible voter voted honestly.
And speaking of honesty. Can I send a message out the leaders???? Please stop negative campaigning. Please stop fear mongering. Don't tell me how terrible life will be under the leadership of someone else. Explain to me how you will make it good. If you cannot stand on your own as a good leader without slamming someone else then why would anyone want to follow you???
All this to say I have one more thing to do before leaving for my DE trip. I need to learn more about the candidates (I know the party platforms) and I need to vote. I also urge all of you out there in reader land to vote.
It's also 12 days until my flight to CZ. I'm not packed. This isn't too bad since lots of things can't be packed yet because I still need them before the trip. But I haven't even finished my packing list! Truth be told, I didn't fully unpack after my last attempt. At first it was because I couldn't lift much in the 2ww, then it was more the depression of the BFN and facing the suitcase meant facing that. I'm not even sure what is in my suitcase and carry on right now. I had a small panic moment a couple of weeks ago and verified that I did know where my passport (and I was right, it expires next year).
I have some shopping to do before I go. Nothing big but a couple of things here and there. I did manage to pick up some gloves today. I'm sure I have some packed away at home somewhere, but it will be a while before I need them here and it's one less thing to worry about now.
K, my dog and cat sitter, will need to put up with the more-than-usual-clutter. I had high hopes of going through clothes, papers, books and even organizing my kitchen cupboards before I went. Didn't happen. Won't happen. My normally boring social calendar was blocked full this month (I'm actually hoping for rain this weekend to get one or two things postponed).
One thing that I can't forget to do before I go or put off until I come back is to vote. Yes, dear readers, we in Canada are also having an election this fall. The official poll day is Oct 14, the day after my transfer. I plan to vote in one of the early polls before I leave. But I still have no idea who I'll be voting for.
For me, personally, who I vote for has always been a combination of how I feel about the specific candidate's ability to represent me (and my neighbors) and how I feel about the party s/he represents. In many things, the candidate will vote as s/he feels appropriate, for controversial things, they are required to vote along party lines, so both need to be taken into account. It's because of this that I don't think any candidate, after being elected can chose to change parties without a by-election. Party changing like that is not part of democracy as it doesn't represent the voters.
Not voting isn't an option. I'm appalled at the low voter turnout. I think the last federal election over 30% of eligible voters didn't vote. What the heck?!? I suspect that many of that 30% were the first to complain when Parliament did something they didn't like. I think if you don't vote, you can't complain. I also don't agree with people who don't vote for the person they want because they feel 'it will be throwing their vote away'. No vote, when made honestly is a throw away. Anyone who wins in a riding had better be aware that if they don't win more than 50% of the vote that they had better pay attention to why if they want to stay around. Plus, I think outcomes of elections could be very different if every single eligible voter voted honestly.
And speaking of honesty. Can I send a message out the leaders???? Please stop negative campaigning. Please stop fear mongering. Don't tell me how terrible life will be under the leadership of someone else. Explain to me how you will make it good. If you cannot stand on your own as a good leader without slamming someone else then why would anyone want to follow you???
All this to say I have one more thing to do before leaving for my DE trip. I need to learn more about the candidates (I know the party platforms) and I need to vote. I also urge all of you out there in reader land to vote.
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