I'm officially 9 weeks now. This means the embryos have finally reached the status of fetus, where they will (hopefully) remain until they are officially babies after birth.
Most web sites tell me they are about 1.5 inches in length now. They have legs and arms and are constantly moving, although it will be months before I can feel them (I swear I felt a 'twitter' once though).
If you want to see some great pics and watch some movies of a fetus at 9 weeks, check out http://www.ehd.org/prenatal-images.php?thum_id=153 Some really neat shots in there.
While I can put all my old pants on, some no longer do up. Of those that do up, sitting is not very comfortable. I've only gained 3 pounds so far (not very much for twins) So I've invested in a few pairs of maternity pants. Right now, they are a bit lose and I'm constantly hauling them up, but they are much more comfortable than my old pants. I'll likely have to buy more clothes before the babes come but I'll be hitting consignment and second hand stores for that. And if none of that works, I'll go for the long shirts and leggings.
Oh, as for tops. I'm a shorter person (under 5 2) and I've made it a point to buy petite sizes so I wouldn't have to role up so sleeves, or tuck things into my knees, trip over hems etc. This was great, but now those ones are not going to be long enough to cover my belly once it starts to pop. They keep telling me I'm going to start to feel like an oven, but right now, it's getting colder each day (high today of 8 Celsius) and I want sweaters. I'm avoiding buying much though, unless its on sale. I'm so in between.
The "world" is starting to know I'm pregnant. So far so good. The best reaction was my team at work. There was silence for a bit; I think they were waiting for the punch line. All are happy, many are still stunned (they didn't expect the older, single manager to get pregnant at all, let alone before the younger recently married men (their wives getting pregnant that is).
Oh and the previous post on support showed really well with my friends. We were at a large dinner gathering the other day. Totally out of the blue, one of my friends suddenly said "Hey, you may be single, but you are not alone, you have all of us. That's more than most people have". They are all offering to babysit already (in pairs) and the babes are included in the plans to watch my BFF complete her first Ironman in the summer (that will take coordination, but I'm sure we can work it out).
I have my Dr appointment this afternoon. Basic check up I think. Its likely too early to pick up a heartbeat on a Doppler yet so I will try not to get my hopes up if we try but cant find one or both.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Support
I was asked about support I'd have while doing this as a single parent. Here goes.
My family doesn't live close but that's okay. I'm sure they will come to visit sometime after the kids are born. Since I'm having twins, the due date is also very fluid and I don't think they can plan in advance when to travel. So I'm recommending they wait until after the birth. Honestly, with twins, I also want to get them onto their own cycles/schedules before people start to come visit. I'm going to look to a local twin expert for help. It's not that I don't love my family, it's just not practical.
I do have a great group of friends locally, some of the best that a person could ask for. Most are childless (by choice), although there are some parents of grown children and even some with grandchildren. I also have two friends with young infants who have already offered anything and everything that can be offered, including calls at any time of the day or night. Follow that with some amazing coworkers and round it out with a fabulous community building. I live in a condo complex that is a bit unlike many others. We are friends. We hang out. We won an award for the building that best exemplifies community. I am the 4th woman to get pregnant in the building this year. Some of my neighbors who know have already committed to walking my dogs should I be too stressed or if I have to go on bed rest.
I know from others 'who've been there, done that' that the nature of some my friendships will change. I wont be able to just drop everything and go hang out or come to the rescue or go out of town. I cant go drinking and dancing without advance planning for childcare. My life will change focus on the babies. Most of my friends wont care or change towards me but some will stop calling.
I know I'll also make new friends. There are many parent groups around. The local libraries all have baby days (and there are two within walking distance to me). There are theatres that do the mom and me screenings during the day. The community centers all have drop in and regular groups. I wont be alone.
Because I have such great and loving people around me all the time, emotional support is not my concern. Financial is a bit of a worry.
In Canada, we get maternity and paternity benefits up to a maximum of 50 weeks, plus a 2 week waiting period for a total of 12 months. I will do everything possible to take this full 12 months off to spend with the babies. This sounds great until you get into the amount that they will pay you and how much a person actually needs to live. The amount went up a tiny bit, has a small formula that says you can earn up to 55% of you income up to a MAXIMUM of $435 a week. Yup, that adds up to 1740 a month or 21,750 for the 50 weeks you get paid (and 2 unpaid). Uh yeah. Oh, and this is taxable income and if they decide, they can tax me at my regular salary rate which at the highest tax bracket and would give me less than nothing to live on.
The city I live in is not cheap. My salary is normally good enough to make up for it. This benefit is not enough. My mortgage, property taxes, condo fees, insurance and hydro come to just under 1,900 a month. So with this, I'm already in the hole. I'm going to assume that I'll want food now and again, the animals might want to eat, along with maybe a phone and oh, lets say the occasional other expense thrown in too. This means, to be able to stay home for the full 12 months, I'm going to need to have a minimum of 12,000 in savings first, or 1000 a month more than they are giving me. Plus I'm going to need to have enough left over at the end to prepay my first month of daycare/childcare/nanny etc. Okay, so maybe 12,000 is not enough. Crap. I am committed to spending the full 12 months at home. If I have to, I'll dig into my retirement savings (hopefully mutual funds will be in better shape by then). I would have more savings now but I've paid for 2 DE attempts this year, sucking my savings dry.
Oh, after the mat leave period, for the later part of my leave, the 35 week parental part, I am allowed to earn up to $50/week (woohoo). Of course, I'd have to be able to earn that while still caring for the babies myself since babysitting costs for twins would easily suck up that $50 or more.
So as you can see, emotional support I have aplenty. Financial support will be significantly harder. Maybe I can win the lottery. Of course to do that, I have to buy a ticket first.
My family doesn't live close but that's okay. I'm sure they will come to visit sometime after the kids are born. Since I'm having twins, the due date is also very fluid and I don't think they can plan in advance when to travel. So I'm recommending they wait until after the birth. Honestly, with twins, I also want to get them onto their own cycles/schedules before people start to come visit. I'm going to look to a local twin expert for help. It's not that I don't love my family, it's just not practical.
I do have a great group of friends locally, some of the best that a person could ask for. Most are childless (by choice), although there are some parents of grown children and even some with grandchildren. I also have two friends with young infants who have already offered anything and everything that can be offered, including calls at any time of the day or night. Follow that with some amazing coworkers and round it out with a fabulous community building. I live in a condo complex that is a bit unlike many others. We are friends. We hang out. We won an award for the building that best exemplifies community. I am the 4th woman to get pregnant in the building this year. Some of my neighbors who know have already committed to walking my dogs should I be too stressed or if I have to go on bed rest.
I know from others 'who've been there, done that' that the nature of some my friendships will change. I wont be able to just drop everything and go hang out or come to the rescue or go out of town. I cant go drinking and dancing without advance planning for childcare. My life will change focus on the babies. Most of my friends wont care or change towards me but some will stop calling.
I know I'll also make new friends. There are many parent groups around. The local libraries all have baby days (and there are two within walking distance to me). There are theatres that do the mom and me screenings during the day. The community centers all have drop in and regular groups. I wont be alone.
Because I have such great and loving people around me all the time, emotional support is not my concern. Financial is a bit of a worry.
In Canada, we get maternity and paternity benefits up to a maximum of 50 weeks, plus a 2 week waiting period for a total of 12 months. I will do everything possible to take this full 12 months off to spend with the babies. This sounds great until you get into the amount that they will pay you and how much a person actually needs to live. The amount went up a tiny bit, has a small formula that says you can earn up to 55% of you income up to a MAXIMUM of $435 a week. Yup, that adds up to 1740 a month or 21,750 for the 50 weeks you get paid (and 2 unpaid). Uh yeah. Oh, and this is taxable income and if they decide, they can tax me at my regular salary rate which at the highest tax bracket and would give me less than nothing to live on.
The city I live in is not cheap. My salary is normally good enough to make up for it. This benefit is not enough. My mortgage, property taxes, condo fees, insurance and hydro come to just under 1,900 a month. So with this, I'm already in the hole. I'm going to assume that I'll want food now and again, the animals might want to eat, along with maybe a phone and oh, lets say the occasional other expense thrown in too. This means, to be able to stay home for the full 12 months, I'm going to need to have a minimum of 12,000 in savings first, or 1000 a month more than they are giving me. Plus I'm going to need to have enough left over at the end to prepay my first month of daycare/childcare/nanny etc. Okay, so maybe 12,000 is not enough. Crap. I am committed to spending the full 12 months at home. If I have to, I'll dig into my retirement savings (hopefully mutual funds will be in better shape by then). I would have more savings now but I've paid for 2 DE attempts this year, sucking my savings dry.
Oh, after the mat leave period, for the later part of my leave, the 35 week parental part, I am allowed to earn up to $50/week (woohoo). Of course, I'd have to be able to earn that while still caring for the babies myself since babysitting costs for twins would easily suck up that $50 or more.
So as you can see, emotional support I have aplenty. Financial support will be significantly harder. Maybe I can win the lottery. Of course to do that, I have to buy a ticket first.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
8 Weeks
8 weeks down, 31 or so more to go.
I thought I'd post an 8 week belly picture. Most of what you see is fat, not baby, but there is definitely baby under the fat. 8 weeks ago, I could easily compress the bulge into any of my pants. Now, I can't, not even close anymore. The twinkies together are just over an inch, add the sacs and extra thick lining and there is probably 2-3 inches I can attribute to them.
Hopefully they will continue to grow well. If they do, my belly should 'pop' in the next 2-3 weeks making it look less like fat and more like baby.
I'm debating renting a Doppler to hear the heartbeats (should be able to by week 10 or so). It's unlikely I'll have another ultrasound until around week 20 and I think I'll go insane with worry if I don't get some reassurance that they are okay.
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